Why Do I Still Feel Like a Teenager?

Have you ever looked around at your peers, or even yourself, and thought, “When am I going to feel like a real adult?” If you’ve felt this way, you’re not alone. Many of us, despite ticking off traditional “grown-up” milestones like moving out, working full-time, or even parenting, still carry that lingering sense of being a teenager inside. 

Adulthood often doesn’t feel the way we imagined it would as kids. Instead of a sudden transformation, it can feel like we’re winging it—navigating the world with a mix of excitement, uncertainty, and the occasional desire to call our mum for advice. Let’s explore why this feeling happens, why it’s normal, and how to redefine what “being an adult” means to you. 

Why Don’t We Feel Like Adults?

1. Expectations vs Reality 

As kids, we often imagined adults as all-knowing, confident, and fully in control. But growing up reveals a different reality: adulthood is a series of learning experiences filled with uncertainties and trial and error. It’s no wonder we feel like we’ve missed some magical “grown-up” transformation. 

2. The Weight of Societal Pressure 

Society often sets benchmarks for adulthood—having a stable career, owning a home, or starting a family. If your path looks different or doesn’t align with these markers, it’s easy to feel “behind” or like you’re not really an adult. 

3. Nostalgia and the Inner Teenager 

The teenage years are formative, filled with heightened emotions, self-discovery, and dreams for the future. That version of you doesn’t disappear—it’s part of who you are. Sometimes, feeling like a kid or teen isn’t about failing to grow up but about staying connected to a core part of yourself. 

Maybe you’re 35, but when faced with a new challenge, you find yourself channelling that 16-year-old who wasn’t sure of herself. Or maybe, after a big accomplishment, you hear the voice of your teenage self whispering doubts. These moments remind us that our past selves are still part of who we are today. 

Embracing the Feeling

It’s easy to see “not feeling like an adult” as a bad thing, but what if it’s not? Here’s how to reframe and embrace this feeling: 

1. Adulthood Isn’t a Destination 

Adulthood is less about reaching a specific milestone and more about the journey. It’s about learning to take care of yourself and others in ways that feel meaningful to you. There’s no universal checklist—your version of adulthood is valid. 

2. Stay Curious 

Part of why we might feel like kids is that we’re constantly learning and growing—qualities we often associate with youth. Instead of seeing this as a sign of immaturity, view it as a strength. Staying curious keeps life exciting and allows you to adapt as you go. 

3. Find Balance Between Responsibility and Play 

Feeling like a teenager doesn’t mean you can’t handle adult responsibilities. It might just be a reminder to prioritise joy, creativity, or spontaneity. Adulthood doesn’t mean leaving fun behind—it means finding balance. 

4. Celebrate Your Unique Path  

No two adults are the same, and that’s the beauty of it. Feeling “not grown-up” is often just a reminder that there’s no universal checklist for what adulthood looks like. Embrace your quirks, your struggles, and the parts of your life that make you feel alive. Rather than trying to “grow out of” the kid or teen inside you, think of it as integrating those parts into the person you are today. The resilience, curiosity, and dreams of your younger self can guide you in building a fulfilling adult life. 

How to Redefine Adulthood on Your Own Terms

1. Celebrate the Small Wins 

Paying a bill on time, cooking a new recipe, or scheduling a doctor’s appointment—these might not seem like monumental achievements, but they’re part of what makes life work. Celebrate these moments as markers of adulthood. 

2. Let Go of “Shoulds” 

There’s no single way to “be an adult.” Let go of societal expectations and focus on what feels right for you. Whether it’s choosing not to have kids, pursuing an unconventional career, or decorating your home with fairy lights because you love them, it’s all valid. 

3. Accept That It’s Okay to Ask for Help 

Feeling like a kid can often be a signal that you’re overwhelmed. But here’s a secret: most adults ask for help more often than you think. Whether it’s leaning on a friend or seeking professional advice, reaching out is part of growing. 

What If You Never “Feel” Like an Adult? 

If the feeling of being a teenager or a kid persists, it’s okay. You’re not alone in this experience. What’s more important than “feeling like an adult” is building a life that feels authentic to you. Age doesn’t define your worth or wisdom—your actions, kindness, and resilience do. 

Conclusion: The Beauty of Being In-Between 

Not feeling like an adult doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re navigating the complexities of life, staying connected to your younger self, and carving out your own version of adulthood. So, the next time you feel like a teenager in disguise, try to embrace the quirks, celebrate the small wins, and carve out your own definition of adulthood. You’re not just “still a kid”—you’re a dynamic, evolving person with a unique story. 

What does adulthood mean to you? Let’s talk about it on our socials—because the truth is, there’s no right answer.